Why else would a wannabe blockbuster aimed at international audiences opt for a villain whose evil plan is to destroy the rest of the European Union so that Greece is returned to its ancient glory? Even if Aristotle’s weapon of choice is some vague computer crap (Networks! Power Grids! Explosions!), it’s beyond refreshing to see a bad guy who isn’t just trying to steal a dangerous piece of surveillance tech so that he can sell our data or whatever. To that point, the most important bit of context you need in order to understand what’s happening in “Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” - a movie title so awkward that you can practically hear Sean Parker begging Lionsgate to add back the missing “the” - is that its predecessor only grossed $351,000 in Greece.
‘After Death’ Review: Studio Behind ‘Sound of Freedom’ Returns with Brain-Dead Documentary About Near-Death Experiences No one will ever confuse this for a good movie - it lacks any evident aspirations of goodness, as if returning director Patrick Hughes made the best thing he could while strapped to a bomb that would explode if its Rotten Tomatoes score ever went above 50 percent Fresh - but it’s really, really hard to work up any real hatred for a goofy action programmer in which Antonio Banderas plays a psychopathic billionaire named Aristotle Papadopolous. But what this breezy sequel lacks in newness it makes up for with a more assured sense of self, twice the possessive apostrophes, and a picaresque approach to comic violence that veers closer to the likes of “Lupin the Third” than it does to the weighty event films that people have to come expect this time of year. Needless to say, “Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard” doesn’t have the same advantage. It may have been a thoroughly mediocre outing, but it was one dropped into a multiplex world so clogged with superhero blockbusters and other well-established IP (“Baywatch” mania was sweeping the nation!) that any fresh offerings seemed to float up to the surface by dint of their novelty alone.
The only real upside to “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” - a low-stakes action comedy from the dog days of the 2017 summer movie season that’s better remembered for grossing $176 million off a $69 million budget than it is for anything else - is that it was an “original” film.
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